Tough choices

Becoming a grandparent is one of the best jobs in the world. It is something many people look forward to and enjoy, but what happens when you are robbed of being the grandparent you longed to be? Traditionally, grandparents had the role of mentor, family historian and loving companion. Grandparents have provided families with love, encouragement, patience, acting as role models, teaching skills and talents to other members of the family, and of course the art of spoiling. But over the past several years more and more grandparents have stepped into the role of parent. Here in the United States over 13 million children are living in homes with their grandparents which means over 2.5 million grandparents have taken on the responsibility of raising one or more children.

Grandparents who now find themselves raising a grandchild often feel torn in relationships with other grandchildren who are not in their everyday care. This new role of "parent" to this child who now finds themselves without a parent to live with on a daily basis is not an easy one. Many feel financial constraints, mental and physical stress, social isolation, family issues, legal hassles, and educational concerns as they maneuver in this uncharted territory, so how do you balance it all.

I know for me this role has caused unwanted tension, jealousy, and severed relationships with some family members while others understood the commitment, love, and compassion being shown to a child in need of a forever family. Isn't this what family should do? For me it is stepping up for a child who deserves a loving family, home, support, and consistency.

In my situation, it was when they child was three years old. My husband and I both work full-time and travel off and on as well, so making sure we had a quality child care, educational toys, books, proper clothing and most of all love.

As the years have gone on new situations presented themselves that required decisions about extracurricular activities, health issues, educational difficulties, dealing with huge disappointments and more. Trying to find a balance can be difficult, but it is worth it.

Being a grandparent is amazing, but being a grandparent raising a grandchild is a gift. I will never take my gift for granted and will strive to make the best possible decisions in order to help maintain stability for this child that pulls on my heart strings.